This is another posting in my very occasional 'creatures' series.

Crab Fingers.

Seamus the shore crab (Carcinus maenus) invariably liked to live a quiet laid-back existence in this particular Suffolk estuary.

It is only when them there kids from norf  London ( you know, them posh ones from Highgate and Hampstead) come up for a week or so, wiv them know-all parents in their 4 by 4's  with all that posh talk and trendy clothes, that Seamus gets a bit 'anti'.

It aint so much the kids … 'cause them don't know no better really. It's them parents that really do me 'ead in. Them dads … caw blimey … they think they are so bleedin' clever … and they never really give the kids a chance. Them dad's they just takes over … so it's them that I go for if they gives me a chance.

Now on this particular occasion Jeremy was explaining to 'is kids how to pick up a crab without being nipped. Well that's what he thought … so I let him pull me off the tasty bit a bacon and all his kids was squealing and jumping around excitedly …you know jus' like they does. But Jeremy, being a bit careless and sort a showing off to 'is kids, suddenly realised that I'd got me main claw right into 'is finger. He was butter in me hand. My goodness you should of 'eard the language that spewed from him. It was enough to make me blush as well as his poor dear embarressed wife. Of course eventually he was able to rip me free of his finger …but not before I'd drawn blood.

So I sort of think that was one up to me.